It came to mind this morning: What good will it be if our homes are clean and in order, but our hearts are in disarray? It kind of reminds me of the scripture that talks about physical training being of some value, but training in godliness being great gain. I want to be about the most needful things, but the outward things are so much easier to accomplish.
Perhaps the crux lies in that word accomplish. Accomplish is something that I do. I see the issue. I do something about it. I choose when, and how, and where. I choose to stop when I'm tired or when I've had enough. But that deeper work of my heart will require a surrendering of all these things. Accomplishment puts the spotlight on self. Surrender glorifies God alone. Accomplishment helps me feel in control. Surrender is, well, surrender - the antithesis of control - allowing Jesus to have complete sovereignty of my circumstances, my rights, my time. Allowing Him to order my circumstances to serve His purpose - to glorify Himself and work for my good. And sometimes His glory and my good look messy and hard outwardly, and on the inside, feel like being alternately crushed and comforted over and over and over...sometimes for weeks, months, even years. But I have come to know that this inward work - His accomplishment - is the best and the sweetest. Not just sometimes, but always.
I really don't know why this is on my mind this morning. Perhaps reviewing my mental list of "things to do?" Perhaps knowing that with a daughter who could give birth at anytime,plans for the day are only plans? I have no idea what each day or moment holds these days. I never really have had, but sometimes it just looked more like I was in control. Perhaps I'm just needing to recognize in a very tangible way today that He is calling me to surrender - not just outwardly, but inwardly. And that, while I can willfully agree to this call, it is His work to accomplish. "..for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose." Phil 2:13
I do know that whenever I allow my inward gaze to rest on the One who, while I was yet a sinner, died for me - who, though He was reviled, beaten, jeered at, and spit upon, did not defend himself, but gave Himself up so that I might be able to stand in glorious intimacy with Him, the ugliness of my sinful heart covered over, justified, the debt of punishment for my sin fully paid - I am deeply humbled. As He breathed His last breath He proclaimed, "It is finished!" He accomplished everything for me....and for you. So, "in view of God's mercy" - His incredible mercy - I do long to "offer my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God." This is my "spiritual act of worship." (Romans 12:1).
Lord, thank you for forgiveness. Thank you for a life in You that is so rich, and hard, and wondrous, and so full of joy. Inward joy. And outward, too. You know how I love to laugh. You have accomplished all that is needful in my life and I know that, because of this, you will be faithful to complete the work that You have begun. I pray that Your fruit will grow to bring sweetness and nourishment to others. What more could I hope to accomplish?
