Friday, December 21, 2012

When it is "the end of the world as we know it"


Thoughts on 12/21/12...the much hyped, supposedly Mayan-predicted end of the world. 
Know that I am a flawed, ever-seeking follower of Jesus Christ. So grateful for His grace. It was Jesus who said, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” It is on the premise and promises of faith in Him and His word that I share.


"It's not the end of the world!" 

Has anyone ever said this to you? My mom used to say it all the time, very likely in response to some outpouring of girlhood drama, real or imagined. And I'm positive that it's thoughtlessly slipped from my lips dozens of times.

It's interesting how we often minimize the feelings of others, especially our children. Granted they are prone to huge emotional swings and patience can run thin...but do you remember times or events in your life that did feel like the whole world would end for the sheer doom that was pressing on your heart or giving you that horrid endless stomach-free-fall? Panic rising or dread falling? 

For every decade of my life I remember several, and I am certain that I've lived through scores more that lay forgotten in the kicked-up-road-dust of "life moves on whether we like it or not." 

Truthfully, it was easier to move on with life when those feelings of doom, hopelessness, and pain were acknowledged instead of minimized or dismissed...by me or, most often, by those who had authority in my life. Those whose responses shaped mine and whose perspectives either clarified or muddied my emotional reactions to the roller coaster learning curve that is life on earth. 

Why are we so uncomfortable with others' pain, grief, disappointment, depression? Or is it that we're only willing to be aware enough to say, "That's horrible!" as we comfort ourselves in the thought of, "Glad that's not my problem." And just because our children's complaints, fears, and desires seem childish to us, does this give excuse for not walking them through these things and helping them make sense of the world and their own emotions? 

Has ignoring something ever made it disappear from your heart? 

Does saying or thinking "it doesn't matter" really make it not matter? Do you ever stop and look at the things you've hauled around that were long ago filed as It Doesn't Matter...No Time to Deal With This...or one of the most effective "shut 'er down and make her feel small" categories...That's Stupid...which translates to "you're stupid and how you feel about this hard thing is stupid too." 

In these times where prayer requests come unceasingly from loved ones who need healing...in mind, body and soul...in marriages and families, from those who needs jobs and material provision, from those who are grieving and broken...will we stop and listen? Will we pray?

In a time of history where we as a nation have had tragedies pounding us like unrelenting body blows, will we learn how to handle loss or grieve well? Will we learn to allow time and space and grace for others to travel their road of despair? Will we let it change us and our relationships? Slow us down and cause us to reflect on how we, as individuals, can either throw down roadblocks and snares or make smooth the path of healing with our choice of words, attitudes, actions.

A week ago today our nation, but more specifically a community and a huge ripple of real families and children, had an "end of the world" day, a day that marked an indisputable end to hopes that represented a world to those who woke to an ordinary morning of work and school and holiday preparations. A world to all whose world had known the comforting presence of these precious women and children...and a semblance of peace and safety. 

This event was horrendous in it's magnitude of loss. There is no denying or diminishing that truth. And each day in each of our worlds the cries of death, pain, sickness, divorce, betrayal, fear, sorrow, and despair reverberate just as truthfully. Some seem small and trite, others are undeniably heart-wrenching, but pain is pain. How we deal with the small muddles gives us tools for the catastrophe. How we choose to show grace to those weaker, younger...our own children?...can make a world of difference in their ability to ride out the next inevitable storm. 

For those in Newtown, Connecticut and their loved ones, today is the one week anniversary of the end of their world. For others of us, our cataclysm...our unexpected crash, or slow ebbing away, our end of the world may have been weeks ago, months ago, perhaps years ago. No matter which, the end of anything that is "life as we know it" is a time for grief, real and raw...most often followed by cold, unpredictable sneaker waves that suck our breath and threaten to drag us under. 

Most of us have heard Jesus' parable of the house built on sand. (Matthew 7:24-27) The longer I live the more I realize the truth of His word picture. This world is all shifting sand. It is a place where evil, sin, and death all have sway. My hopes, my world, cannot be sustained upon it's promises. The only way I have weathered storm after storm, and pounding after pounding is by learning to set my feet upon a Rock that is not of this world, and the rock of His word. This is my firm foundation.

Hebrews 12:3 reminds me to, "Consider [Jesus] who endured such opposition from sinful men so that you so not grow weary and lose heart." These words show me ahead of time where to redirect my gaze in the times of trouble that will come. He has been my only place of hope in those "end of the world" moments and seasons.

But the intent of my challenge to you today is to look at your own responses to those around you who are suffering. Perhaps this will mean looking deep into why you respond as you do. Do you run from pain...yours and others...and why? 

Do you diminish the expressions of pain, confusion, or fear of those in your path, including your children of any age, or can you do battle with them by listening, listening, listening...and then, after you have really listened, speaking truth that is truth, not just the knee-jerk reaction of your own hidden pain or fears? Or your need to get back to your to do list?

When we are open to being healed we have the potential to be a healing balm in the lives of others. But know that there is pain in healing, just ask the burn victim or the physical therapy patient. Why do we expect anything different of emotional and spiritual healing? Do not run from this pain, embrace it. 


Pain will mold and shape your life anyway...
but you have a choice in whether you'll end up misshapen and bitter, 
or scarred, but whole. 

I have found this healing in Jesus, in His character and in His promises. He may correct, discipline, even painfully prune, but He never diminishes or dismisses me. He is a wise and tender physician who has walked the road of pain with me...so often carrying me when my legs and my mind buckled under life's strain, when my world was ending.  

Therefore, it is His tenderness that I long to share with others who are hurting. In view of His mercy, it is His grace I long to give. His long-suffering, His ability to suffer long...to be patient...that I need in order to really stop, share their pain, and with a heart ready to listen, come alongside. Whether the grieving parent or the wounded child, the sister who sees no hope, or the teen drowning in fear or depression, I want to be willing to walk this road of pain with others.


Am I ready for "the end of the world" in someone's life? Are you? 
How will you answer your young children in the face of the little calamities sent to shape them? 
How will you walk with another's grief? 

When we shut ourselves off from others with the habit of dismissing their pain, 
we not only miss out on the potential of helping them grow and heal, 
but, far worse, we become a part of the pounding 
that maims their hearts.

My favorite of God's promises is, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Would that we lived even a pale reflection of that promise in each other's lives. 


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Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 
the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 
who comforts us in all our troubles, 
so that we can comfort those in any trouble 
with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 
~2 Corinthians 1:3,4

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. 
~Psalm 147:3