Press "like" if you LOVE Jesus...

I'm not going to press "like" if I LOVE Jesus,

Or forward a prayer to 12 people within 5 minutes,

Or repost because "I'm not ashamed of the gospel"...Bleh!

What is proved by any of these things? Grace is not forwarded or reposted. Grace is from God alone. It is lived, and received, and flows out of real lives, and real hearts, and real words that are governed by the Holy Spirit. We can share words of truth and grace online, but not in trite, thoughtless (without giving it thought), non-soul-searching ways.

Our salvation was bought with the life of the Son of God who became a man, took all our sins - and the punishment for them - upon Himself, died a terrible death, and was gloriously raised from the dead. He did not just "press 'like' if you're God and You so love the world."

We don't summon the God of the universe by pressing "like," or forwarding magic prayers, or reposting "in your face" declarations. And none of these things confirms His real, rebirth presence in our hearts. It's easy to press "like." It takes sacrifice to follow Jesus. It takes humility and repentance. It is a life and a "walk" and a process, not a one-time prayer or an easy click of a button.

Bah! This is my response to the GodVine "ad" in my sidebar: Press "like" if you LOVE Jesus.

(I am not a fan of "Jesus junk" either. "They will know we are Christians by our love for one another," among many other things, but not by our cool bumper stickers, key chains, posters, and pens.)

Does the trivializing and marketing of God and everything that is holy bother anyone else?

Musings from the empty nest...

Life is full of conflicting emotions these days and they seem to echo more loudly in our extreme empty nest. With three children, all married, all now living out of town, we find ourselves alone for the first time in over twenty-six years. And with a house full of hardwood floors, the silence seems just as loud as all the years of commotion. Where once we fought for order and sanity, we now fight off the persistent melancholy. And it is not just my struggle; we are both feeling and processing these changes with all the inherent awkwardness of newbies. The mid-life “middle school” experience, knowing we are growing into the next phase of life, but just not comfortable in this new skin yet. Fortunately there is not the same fear of looking stupid or not fitting in, just an honesty in admitting that we sometimes feel stupid and don’t quite know where we fit. Many have come before us in this transition - some may have felt it less keenly, some have perhaps been devastated. But this journey is new to us and we’re just figuring it all out day by day. It is what it is, and there really need be no point of comparison. 

As we enter this season of winter it seems a bit more cold and harsh. No kids’ excitement over the first snow to soften the edges, no girls to insist that we should get the Christmas stuff out. Am I allowed to confess that I don’t “love” Christmas? Well, I just did. If you find that blasphemous, so be it. My kids found it exasperating too at times, so I eventually let them take over the decorating. Their holiday spirit always lifted mine. And there was always “snowflake night.” This I did love…even more than Christmas morning. Gathering with the kids, Ty putting lights around the front window, music playing, lightheartedness and laughter, specs of white cutouts everywhere, and at night’s end, that lovely arch of fresh cut snowflakes in the window. A visual reminder of each persons’ uniqueness coming together in a collage of oneness; a season-long reminder of the blessings of family.

This year, snowflake night will be different, just like everything else. I'll mail out snowflake kits so the kids can send us some for the front window, and we’ll likely invite some other loved ones to join us for our night of cutting. Perhaps Ty will still groom our sloped backyard with sledding runs…for some other young families to enjoy. It is very likely that none of our kids will be here for Christmas. It is a new season. So how do we keep some of the sameness of traditions and still allow for the fact that things will never be the same? And who will decorate for Christmas this year? Should we finally get an artificial tree or return to our favorite tree lot? Will it be fun or sad to go without the kids? Shall I host Christmas dinner like I have for most of the past twenty years, or should we lay low and do something different? No matter what we do this year, it all may feel forced and unnatural...but anything new feels that way at first. Some days we'll just feel sad. That's ok. Guess we’ll just roll with it, day by day, moment by moment.

All of these changes truly are wrapped in a conflict of emotions. For while we trudge through this winter of change, we acknowledge that we are so happy and blessed by our kids, their spouses, and their new lives. We have a precious grand daughter…and, surely, more to come. We have one another, new adventures on the horizon, and we have the Lord. He never changes. He has been faithful to carry us through nearly thirty years of marriage…years of joy, sorrow, laughter, anger, blessing, bitterness, hardship, hope, and healing. It has been a real life, and it still is. We have so much yet to learn.

It is good that, as a couple, we are talking and praying together over this crazy new season. Those vows we took so long ago have been highlighted with each recent wedding. Good reminders that the seasons of life are what we pledged to one another. “To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.” These vows should remain fresh. ”To have and to hold from this dayforward..." This day of change, of awkwardness, and encroaching sadness. Everyday is “this day” renewed. So, on this day we can hold each other and let the Lord hold us as we poke around and get acquainted with our new home – the empty nest.

To be continued…

My Thursday Moms: a tribute

As we sat on the sofa listening to Heather give us her update on speaker phone in a raspy, congested, "I'm too sick to come today" voice, I had a growing sense of deep thankfulness for what these women have meant to me over the many years of seasons. Even as she spoke I thought, "I cannot even fathom where I'd be and who I'd be without them." If "aged to perfection" is even a possibility, I would say that this describes our deep sisterhood in Christ. Though we are far from perfect, our friendship has taken on a beauty that only comes with the seasoning of those seasons; enduring with one another through countless trials and rejoicing together as we've witnessed God's miraculous hand weaving the threads of our lives into a garment of praise.

Little did we know well over 15 years ago that a group of women gathered to pray for our kids and Linwood Elementary would be the catalyst for such an enduring friendship. We were a Moms In Touch prayer group led by another wonderful woman who felt God's call to this ministry. Every Thursday morning from September to June we would meet to encourage one another in prayer and to testify to God's answers for our children, our families, and our school. As time went on and our kids began to leave for middle school, high school, home school, and college, we morphed from the official Moms In Touch to a more informal moms in prayer. Many women came and went over the years, each a blessing and dearly loved. There are three of us left from that original group - Diana, Heather, and me. I affectionately call us the Thursday Moms. 

These woman have walked with me through almost two decades of raising my small children, behavior issues, illnesses, attitudes and rebellion (my kids' and mine), head lice (ugh!), depression, grief, marriage issues, the teenage years, schooling choices, mission trips, the dating years, wedding planning, wedding planning, wedding planning (smile)....and now extreme empty nesting. They have been so patient and wise and faithful. They have pointed me back to God's word countless times and encouraged me with His promises. And, more than words, they have been Jesus' hands and feet of blessing.

This year we "got all crazy" and decided to continue meeting together through the summer. We didn't start out knowing how important this would be, but the Lord knew. Oh how we needed Him this summer! (smile...we always need Him!) Hopes, fears, anguish, quandaries, mountains, marriages, mine fields...and through all these things, desiring to be faithful wives, mothers, friends - faithful servants of our Savior, Jesus. So much more than seeking relief from these looming issues, we desired to respond in the Spirit and in truth; to know Him more deeply and to honor Him in all we did and thought and said. This has been our quest...this summer and throughout the years. No Holy Grail, just holy living. Journeying together through the maze of life, spurring one another on, battling in prayer and in exhortation, lifting one another's arms when the fighting was fierce. And in all this, loving one another.

Ah, yes...loving one another. This was the reason for the deep sense of quiet and peace that came over me as I sat back, shoes off, curled up with steaming coffee mug in the corner of comfy green sofa. We'd prayed for Heather and settled in to continue our morning of fellowship and it dawned on me. Gazing at my lovely friend with the rich golden hues outside reflecting the changing seasons of this place and of our lives, I realized that this was where I had always known I could be myself. I am loved here. These women have graced me with the ministry of listening...not just hearing, but listening. Such a gift! They know me so well and they have allowed me to know them. We have confessed our sins to one another, shared joys and fears, cried together, laughed together, invested in the Kingdom and in one another...together. What a treasure we share in Christ and in the wonder of womanhood, lived together as friends. Let the seasons change! We have one another and we have Christ. Oh, how I love you Jesus and how I love these sweet, sweet sisters! Thank you for my precious Thursday Moms! 

Children: Punishment or Discipline?

Punishment. I've been thinking about this word lately. While raising my children I always cringed when I heard it used. Years later I figured out why. Grace. Grace is why to my saved-by-grace-ears "punishment" did not ring true. Biblically, wrath leads to punishment. And by the same Word, I know that I have been saved from wrath. Jesus took my punishment. But at the same time the Word does speak of discipline. Hebrews 12:5-11:

5“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

   and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,

   and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

 7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

The heart of these two words is so different. Punishment comes from wrath, discipline from love. How many times did I "punish" my kids for their bad behavior out of my anger, or fear, or a desire to control them? More times than I care to remember. And, even in the moment, it seemed wrong. It was sin for sin. This is not discipline, and it certainly showed no discipline - or self control - on my part. Disciplining has to do with intentionally desiring an outcome. In the case of our children we should truly and prayerfully ask God for a vision of that outcome so that we can direct their discipline with purpose.

Everything that we model to our children should reflect the heart of God toward them, even disciplining them. Punishment breeds rule keeping and a sense of legalism that only puts a huge stumbling block in the way of our relationship with our children and their future relationship with their heavenly Father. None of us can keep the rules. If we could have Jesus would never had needed to give up His glory in heaven to become a man and die a terrible death for us. God offers us eternal relief from the burden of rule keeping and even the way we discipline our children can begin to show them His heart.

None of this means that we are soft or permissive, but it does mean that we have tender hearts for our children that, even in the face of their misbehavior, seeks to set them on the right path. God knows each of us intimately and gives us the discipline that is best. He does judge, but is a righteous judge. We can seek to know our children...not just their behavior, but their hearts, their bent...and ask for wisdom to teach and train them effectively, to make right judgements on their behalf. So often I just wanted my kids to "behave" so that my life would be easier. This was such a lazy and selfish attitude. Parenting is hard work, and in many ways was God's way of disciplining me. As I learned to see it that way and to fall on my face before Him for wisdom, strength, and a right heart, it began to have that harvest of righteousness and peace in my life. I only wish that I had seen it sooner.

Our lives are a process and so are our children's. We need the work of the Holy Spirit in that process. I'm not sure why the Lord laid all this on my heart today, but He did. How this looks in my life and in yours will be so different and I know that this is not an exhaustive study on the subject, but it bears consideration. Do you punish or discipline? Perhaps at the heart of it all is this question: Do you see God as a punishing God or one who disciplines you...the child he loves? For those who believe on and have received His atoning sacrifice, there is grace. Not a grace that gives us license to sin more, but one that calls us to deep thankfulness and a desire for a holy life, in Him, by Him, for Him. This is the heart for God that I want my children to have.

Tears 2: A New Season

I began this note on Monday morning with tears freely flowing, but was interrupted by a phone call from Monica and Danny that, on their way to Medford, they'd had a fender bender (literally) in Kennewick. So I, of course, put on my calm, cool, and collected hat immediately and got down to helping with the situation at hand. That's what I do. I'm a mom. But these Monday feelings have been resting just below the surface for the past few days as I have watched their progress in finally getting to their destination. I know that when I get home the reality of it all will seem, well,  un-real. Ah, life's transitions. It's Gumby time again. And so I share:

Monday 10.10.11

As I fought down sobs putting on my makeup today, I was struck with the irony that a little over a year ago I was in this very place trying to put on makeup through tears last year. I was preparing to leave Jill, Jake, and one month old Cadence to begin my life as a long distance gramma and I wrote a note called "Tears." This morning I was saying goodbye as my last little bird, Monica, flew the "forest" for the place that the Lord has prepared for her and her husband Danny, and here I am in Pensacola once again. And once again, Ty and I are parted for this final goodbye. 

I've pretty much been a puddle since last night, knowing that they were having dinner with his parents and Ty, knowing that the U-Haul was packed and ready, knowing that they were sleeping in our basement spare bed...so close to home, but so far from me. It is one thing to intellectually consent to the idea that your children are leaving, and quite another to say goodbye. I've known for years that none of them would live in Spokane for very long, but that hasn't made this tearing away any easier on my heart.

(This reverie is now interrupted by the fender bender and some days to think on these things.)

Thursday 10.13.11

Our children's lives were once so contained within our lives. Moving from grade to grade, having friends over, plays, games, activities, concerts. Helping them navigate growing up, but still having a bit of control over their environment. And if "control" is the wrong word, then at least having more of the decision making authority even while slowly giving that over to them. Little did we know then, but our desire and need to pray for them would only grow with time. 

Today as I reflected on the dynamics of all the changes that have touched our lives in the last 3-5 years I realized that, though Ty and I have emptied our nest, our children's lives have almost taken on an exponential effect. No longer are they individual children under our care, but they are married children, each with an entire universe of a life of their own. So in our equation of family with three kids we've gone from, let's say, "3x" to "x cubed" or x^3. (Sorry if you don't follow the math analogy, but if x=3, then 3x3=9, but 3 cubed=3x3x3=27. Add two sons-in-law, a daughter-in-law, and grandkids, and that equation continues to grow.) Granted, on a day to day basis, we aren't dealing with raising them, but their lives in the adult world of marriage, children, school, and work are larger and more complicated. Thus our need to let go and let them live independently becomes a more difficult challenge. And we must let go if they are to be strengthened by their own adversity and enjoy the full freedom of adulthood, but it ain't easy. It's tough love of another sort, I guess. Maintaining that balance of being available, but not under foot. 

And so I will return to Spokane in less than a week to a very quiet house, and a quieter town. Ty and I will look at each other and likely laugh and shake our heads. What a ride the past few years have been. What a ride the past few weeks have been. I know that there will be more tears here and there as well. That's ok. Those tears will fall and water the seeds of what is next. I've been reading in Isaiah for the past few mornings. This passage hit home: 

“Forget the former things; 

   do not dwell on the past. 

See, I am doing a new thing! 

   Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? 

I am making a way in the wilderness 

   and streams in the wasteland." ~Is 43:18,19 

I welcome His work, hard as it may be sometimes. And I do not want to miss the new things He has planned. Fall even seems a fitting season for this season of our lives. A time when what was new dies away so that what will be can come forth. As I prepare to return home I look forward to spending time with Ty, perhaps that long awaited date at a favorite coffee shop, and to be face to face sharing our feelings of "oh my goodness!" or as he so aptly said the other night over the phone, to "just be." Be together. Be in the moment. Be facing tomorrow together. When the tears spring forth again, we'll let them come. We're both kind of sappy and sentimental. We'll just sop them up with a scone, take another sip of coffee, and look forward to Spring.

Forgiveness: Fact or Feeling

I was struck by this excerpt from Watchman Nee's The Normal Christian Life. So often we can try to value our own sense of forgiveness based on our feelings of being forgiven, of behaving well, of having had a good day or a bad day. We must learn to embrace our forgiveness on the fact that the blood of Christ does, in fact, cover our sin - not our behavior, not our noble thoughts, not our days of victory over sin. In Christ's shed blood alone is our forgiveness. Period. So "Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Some say doctrine is dry and boring. Nothing can be further from the truth. Correct doctrine is essential to correct thinking. Correct thinking allows us to reign in our feelings...to bring them into line with the truth. I have come to approach life in this way, "This is how I feel, but what does God's word say." 

Know the truth and be set free to embrace all of the strength and power that His redeeming grace affords you. If you have accepted Christ's shed blood as atonement for your sin, you are forgiven. You can stand before the Holy God of heaven by the merit of His blood, not for anything you have done or not done. "He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior." (Titus 3:5,6)

If you struggle with your "sense" of worthiness to stand before God, read on. 

(From *The Normal Christian Life, by Watchman Nee, Chapter 1)

GOD IS SATISFIED

It is God's holiness, God's righteousness, which demands that a sinless life should be given for man. There is life in the Blood, and that Blood has to be poured out for me, for my sins. God is the One who requires it to be so. God is the One who demands that the Blood be presented, in order to satisfy His own righteousness, and it is He who says: 'When I see the blood, I will pass over you. 'The Blood of Christ wholly satisfies God.

Now I desire to say a word at this point to my younger brethren in the Lord, for it is here that we often get into difficulties. As unbelievers we may have been wholly untroubled by our conscience until the Word of God began to arouse us. Our conscience was dead, and those with dead consciences are certainly of no use to God. But later, when we believed, our awakened conscience may have become acutely sensitive, and this can constitute a real problem to us. The sense of sin and guilt can become so great, so terrible, as almost to cripple us by causing us to lose sight of the true effectiveness of the Blood. It seems to us that our sins are so real, and some particular sin may trouble us so many times, that we come to the point where to us our sins loom larger than the Blood of Christ.

Now the whole trouble with us is that we are trying to sense it ; we are trying to feel its value and to estimate subjectively what the Blood is for us. We cannot do it; it does not work that way. The Blood is first for God to see. We then have to accept God's valuation of it. In doing so we shall find our valuation. If instead we try to come to a valuation by way of our feelings we get nothing; we remain in darkness. No, it is a matter of faith in God's Word. We have to believe that the Blood is precious to God because He says it is so (1 Peter 1. 18,19). If God can accept the Blood as a payment for our sins and as the price of our redemption, then we can rest assured that the debt has been paid. If God is satisfied with the Blood, then the Blood must be acceptable. Our valuation of it is only according to His valuation-neither more nor less. It cannot, of course, be more, but it must not be less.

Let us remember that He is holy and He is righteous, and that a holy and righteous God has the right to say that the Blood is acceptable in His eyes and has fully satisfied, Him the Lord Jesus. I approach God through His merit alone, and never on the basis of my attainment; never, for example, on the ground that I have been extra kind or patient to- day, or that I have done something for the Lord this morning. I have to come by way of the Blood every time. The temptation to so many of us when we try to approach God is to think that because God has been dealing with us-because He has been taking steps to bring us into something more of Himself and has been teaching us deeper lessons of the Cross-He has thereby set before us new standards, and that only by attaining to these can we have a clear conscience before Him. No! A clear conscience is never based upon our attainment; it can only be based on the work of the Lord Jesus in the shedding of His Blood.

I may be mistaken, but I feel very strongly that some of us are thinking in terms such as these: 'Today I have been a little more careful ; to-day I have been doing a little better; this morning I have been reading the Word of God in a warmer way, so to-day I can pray better!' Or again, 'To-day I have had a little difficulty with the family ; I began the day feeling very gloomy and moody; I am not feeling too bright now; it seems that there must be something wrong; therefore I cannot approach God.'

What, after all, is your basis of approach to God? Do you come to Him on the uncertain ground of your feeling, the feeling that you may have achieved something for God today? Or is your approach based on something far more secure, namely, the fact that the Blood has been shed, and that God looks on that Blood and is satisfied? Of course, were it conceivably possible for the Blood to suffer any change, the basis of your approach to God might be less trustworthy. But the Blood has never changed and never will. Your approach to God is therefore always in boldness; and that boldness is yours through the Blood and never through your personal attainment. Whatever be your measure of attainment to-day or yesterday or the day before, as soon as you make a conscious move into the Most Holy Place, immediately you have to take your stand upon the safe and only ground of the shed Blood. Whether you have had a good day or a bad day, whether you have consciously sinned or not, your basis of approach is always the same-the Blood of Christ. That is the ground upon which you may enter, and there is no other.

*This book and others can be found on 

http://www.worldinvisible.com/library/bookcat.htm

Get Those Girls Home! Fall Field Trip '11

Back story: Jillian's two and a half week visit stretched to nearly a month. After learning that she was pregnant while in Spokane for a wedding, she became VERY ill with morning sickness. Fortunately I had returned from Croatia by then. Two trips to the ER later, and now on two anti-nausea meds, she's somewhat stable, though tired (a side effect of the meds.) Her original return home date was moved out a week and we all decided that I should accompany her for the flight home to help with The Cutest Little Strong-Willed Girl On Earth Who Does Not Like To Cuddle Or Sit Still. Her friends and family call her Cadence.  

Update: Our flights yesterday went remarkably well with the assistance of several Delta Airlines beverage napkins. Who would have thought that breaking a napkin into tiny pieces, which were then handed to Grandma, would keep a child occupied for so long? She was so diligent and intent on this task that it kept her quiet and relaxed enough to be content when it was finally time to sit on my lap for our landings, or, on one flight, to actually fall asleep in my arms. Also, kudos to mommy's iphone & the Mickey Mouse Club and the portable DVD player & Finding Nemo. She actually slept the entire last leg of the trip after watching a slow slide show of photos from my phone during take off...the constant drone of engines on the back of the plane didn't hurt either. 

The long awaited reunion with Daddy was all that could be hoped for. No adjustment period necessary after being gone a month...just Daddy's girl from the get go. It was so adorable to watch them play and to hear Cadence bubble over with the giggles that are reserved for him alone. 

And the long awaited reunion of Jake and Jill was great as well. Mom's are ok, but she had so longed for her husband during those nights and days of feeling so sick and distraught. That is as it should be and now they are together again. 

So here I sit, with a mug of hot joe nearby and the sound of jets overhead on this sunny day on the Cadence-acola Naval Air Station, and thank the Lord for His provision for this trip home and for this family. Jill and Jake both said they'll hire me for all of Jill's cross country flights. Haha! While they were at our house we all called Uncle Danny the baby whisperer, but apparently I've got a few skills too. I think it just helps to be able to double-team a one year old who's trapped on a flying metal tube where there's no where to run and play. And I know that the Lord was gracious to us, the first sign of that being the fact that on a "full flight" we ended up with a whole row of three seats to ourselves. 

Jill is resting on the sofa and Cadence is toddling around the house, her little bare feet making happy little slappy sounds on the hardwood floor. She stops by the sofa often for a kiss and a cuddle from Momma. It was a long absence from home for them both. It was an incredibly busy two weeks for me immediately after my arrival home from a three week trip overseas. So today, here in Florida, though there are certainly things to attend to, we choose to rest. 

What I Did the Week After My Vacation

I was just thinking about those silly little essays that kids often have to write at the beginning of the school year: What I Did On My Summer Vacation. Since I wrote an almost daily essay chronicling my adventure in Croatia with my mom, you'd think that life after traveling would leave little else to say. But I must say that my first week back has been much more jam packed. 

You see, months before I ever consented to flying halfway across the world with my mom, I was an automatic sign-up for the Mandy and Keith wedding team. Mandy's mom, and my dear friend, Heather, has been behind the scenes on all my kid's weddings in one capacity or another - rehearsal dinners, kitchen queen (aka: the one in charge of all things food), maker of delicious wedding dainties, assistant food planner, and the "just give me the cash and I'll do all your food shopping" lady. More importantly, she has been a loyal friend and fellow Thursday morning prayer partner for the past 17 years or so. She has prayed diligently for all my kids and prayed me through all those weddings, and more.

To say that I owed her one sounds much too flippant and unfeeling. Friends don't keep track of what is owed. Friends are just there for one another, unconditionally. I love her. I love Mandy. Love is an action, so count me in! Yes, I will be the wedding coordinator, and, yes, I will come alongside Mandy and Heather in finishing the planning. The fact that the wedding was to be four days after I arrived home from a three week trip overseas did have me considering hyperventilating a few times, but despite my inner wimpiness, I find that I must keep going back to the "trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" thing. I like that promise of Him making all my paths straight and I never cease to be amazed at how He does it each time. 

So, Tuesday night found me back home enjoying my family...including my one and only grand daughter, who is twenty times cuter in person than on Skype. Holy moly! It was so good to see everyone and so great to be home.

Wednesday consisted of unpacking, hanging out with Jill and Cadence, doing laundry, making lists, and phone calls to Heather, Mandy, and others, to start to get my ducks in a row for the fast arriving nuptials.

Thursday had Jillian waking up feeling ill - because she's pregnant!! - me driving down the way to prayer with Heather and our friend Diana, then running back home to get Jillian something, then back to prayer...where more things were hammered out and lifted up, taking care of baby so Jillian could rest, a last minute meeting with Mandy and Keith to go over the wedding and reception itinerary and to tidy up some last minute details, come home, make dinner, take care of baby and Jill, and go to bed.

Friday I'm tired, but up with baby. Jillian had felt sick in the night and I'd been up with her off and on. Baby's nap time meant typing up the itinerary for the wedding and reception and preparing to run the wedding rehearsal which was to be an hour away in a little stone church in the quaint little Palouse town of Pine City. Jillian finally started feeling a little better, so as she was to be a bridesmaid, we headed out through the rolling fields of wheat and made it through the rehearsal, which went quite well. We then joined everyone for a rehearsal dessert in downtown Spokane. Jilly didn't feel too great that evening and we spent another night of interrupted sleep.

Saturday morning already showed promise of the ninety degree day that it would be. I got up, took care of baby, and let Jillian sleep as long as possible. After picking up some other friends who were riding down to help with the festivities, I came by and got Jillian. We arrived in Pine City about 1:20pm. Jillian joined the girls to prepare for photos and I jumped in and helped finish the lovely outdoor "church picnic in the pines" reception set up. Thank goodness for many helping hands! It was hot, hot, hot! Finally came time to line up our bridal party and get the show on the road. The music began and we were off! How grateful we all were for that cool little stone church! The wedding was beautiful and I relished my front row seat where I could see Mandy's lovely smile through the whole ceremony. Soon we were all filing out for dinner and dessert in the field right next to the church. After a fun time of food and fellowship, we saw the bride and groom off through showers of birdseed and began our clean up. Jillian caught a ride home with friends and the rest of us - family and friends - got the wedding packed up. I was home by 9:30 feeling tired and sore, but quite blessed by the Lord's provision for the day and all who came to celebrate. 

Sunday morning Jillian still was not feeling well, so she and Jake decided to postpone her return flight for a week. We were all pretty exhausted, so we laid low till the afternoon, then I took Jill into the ER. They filled her with fluids, ran tests, found that she was fighting an infection - in addition to being morning sick - and sent us home with some prescriptions. Not knowing what was up, we had also decided earlier that day that I would accompany Jill and Cadence home that next week. Even with a week to recover it did not seem wise to send her flying with the baby alone. So I will be leaving with her on Oct 3rd and stay for two weeks...missing Monica and Danny's departure to Medford. That was cause for some shedding of tears all around, but we worked through it. As I recently posted on Facebook, "life truly is what happens when you have other plans."

Monday we had one appointment then Jill laid low. There were also errands to run and dinner to make and baby to watch. Jill's meds were making her feel weird, so we had another night of not so much sleep.

That brings us to Tuesday. Jill  was still not 100%, more errands to run, and an important date with lovely Nancy who is moving to California on Friday. Danny came to help take care of Cadence and Jill, and Monica and I set out on the errands and met Nancy for a much awaited last visit at the Maple Street Bistro. Good times! Swinging by Rosauers for a rotisserie chicken and a few other supplies, we made it home and got dinner together. Add a lovely surprise visit from cousin BJ, a bath for baby, getting Jill off to bed with a prayer for healing, doing up the dishes, making Ty's lunch for tomorrow, and I was pooped. I went to bed early and was awakened once again to Jill's text that she needed help. Finally got some nausea meds in her and we both got back to sleep around 2:30am.

Wednesday morning, I escaped with the help of Auntie Monica and Uncle Danny, and went downtown to get my hair done. It was a nice and needed break. Returning home, I helped Jillian get ready and we headed off the the ER again. There must be something they could do to help her a bit more with the nausea or we were not going to be able to leave for Florida next Monday! The Lord had all that covered! We saw the same admitting person as on Sunday, a pregnant woman who had suffered miserably from morning sickness too. She promptly wheeled Jillian into the ER and went herself to find the same ARNP that we'd had on Sunday. Such a blessing! We were there an awfully long time, but everyone was so good to us. Results of that visit? One less medication to take that would bother her stomach, an additional one for the nausea, AND she got to have an ultrasound and see little baby Bragg's heart beating...I did too! Jillian had a much better night last night so we both got more rest.

Now it's Thursday. I awoke early to get dressed before Miss Cadence arose. We had a fun breakfast together, then woke up "mom" for her meds and got her to come on out to the living room to "play" from the sofa. I was able to bop down to my friend Diana's for our Thursday prayer and fellowship time. Such a blessing! Dropped Jillian off for a massage, which she was thankfully feeling well enough for, went to an appointment with Ty, then home for a quick lunch. Because Jillian was feeling better, and because Danny was willing to stick around and hang with the girls again, Monica and I were able to have our promised coffee date (that we were supposed to have yesterday), probably our last one before I leave for Florida and she leaves for Medford. Golly, I love that girl...I mean, woman! What a joy to see what the Lord has done and is doing in her life. 

It has been a full day, and a very full week-plus-a-few-days, since I returned from my European adventure. If I had jet lag at all this week it was masked by all the activity and the continued lack of sleep. There are a few more days till I'm off again. I have no idea what to think of all this, so I'm just bending with it and feeling very thankful for God's covering, even while being close to tears at times. Haha! That has been my life for at least the past three years...probably more. Isn't that the story of all of us itinerate mom/wife/friends? Different circumstances, but always the need to trust, the need to cry and cry out, and the need to cultivate thankfulness through it all. So what did I do the week after my vacation? I tried to be obedient to whatever the Lord put in my path. And He has been faithful to hold me close. It has been a good week.

Croatia: The End and a Post Script...Part 19

And now for the end of the story...

The drive back to Zagreb in my cousin Tea's little yellow Peugeot on Sunday was lovely. She named her car a Croatian word that means little tweety, in honor of Tweet Bird. As we approached Zagreb we all discovered that great minds think alike...we all wanted to go to the restaurant Grana and have ćevapčići again - traditional seasoned ground beef links served with fresh onions, bread, and kajmak, which is a Bosnian cheese spread. Wonderful!

It was decided that we would stay with Tea and her husband that night and meet up with the others on Monday before our flight. After a walk to a nearby caffe bar for gelato - our last one - we settled in for the evening. In the morning we had a breakfast of coffee and toasted meat and cheese sandwiches. Mom was in search of a few souvenirs yet, so Tea took us to a nearby mall. It was very nice, and given more time and some extra cash, I could have brought home a pretty sweet fall wardrobe. Maybe next time. 

After shopping, finding a place for these last minute finds in our already bulging bags, and piling it all into Tweety, we headed off for Mariana's house. A lovely lunch awaited us...roasted lamb, chicken, pan fried potatoes, bowls of the best tomatoes in the world, fresh bread, and an assortment of cakes. A perfect meal to prepare us for our trip, which would include a 14 hour layover in Frankfurt that night. 

Our last visit with all of them was wonderful and we all prepared for a sad goodbye. Even the skies seemed to have sensed the mood, for it was pouring down rain - the only really wet weather we'd had for the entire 3 weeks. Everyone went to the airport...Mariana, Mirela, Jurko, Tea, and Mirela's sister Neves. We had plenty of time to kill, so we invaded the airport gift shop then sat and visited over coffee. Did you know that neckties were invented by the Croatians...as well as ink pens? I just had to buy Ty a necktie magnet from Zagreb. He has said for years that if he ever met the guy who invented neck ties he would like to string him up by one. I find it ironic that they were invented by "my people." After we took a few pictures it was time to head for security and to get our "going home party" started for real. Lots of hugs, a few tears, and we were off. 

The flight to Zagreb was uneventful, the night spent at the airport...well, not so fun. After heading to Terminal A and being told, no, you need to go back to Terminal B, then being told at B that we really wouldn't want to hang out there either, we decided to land in some reclining chairs that we'd seen on our treks between terminals. It seemed a great idea till a group of one man and two women showed up several rows of chairs behind us with several bottles of alcoholic beverages. They were very loud and for some reason thought that playing techno music at random internals was an appropriate activity for 1:00am in a public space. We left that area for some place quieter, but eventually returned for the sake of having comfortable chairs to rest in. Mom read a bit, then fell asleep around 2:30, so I prepared to stay awake and keep watch over our bags. For the next three and a half hours I alternated between playing solitaire and doing crossword puzzles, with an occasional break to stand and stretch and move around to get warm. Finally everyone - including the partyers - slept, and the only distractions were the airport employees walking up and down the corridor. I kept up the forced activity circuit until 6am when Mom woke up and we decided to venture through security to the restaurants in Terminal B. Breakfast at McDonalds. (Sorry there were no other choices at 6am in the Frankfurt airport.) I decided that I would try and forget that I'd now been up for 24 hours straight, but when we finally got through to our gate in Terminal A I could no longer keep my eyes open, so I laid my head on Mom's shoulder and napped for about a half an hour. We finally boarded the plane for Seattle at 9:00am. At last we were truly on our way home.

That flight went well, though I slept only a little over two hours. I watched a total of three movies (exhaustion meets desperation), but as we approached the US border from the north I had the best show ever. The in-air display said we were flying over western Canada, Jasper National Forest. As I looked down and marveled at the amazing Rockie Mountains, in my sleep deprived state of mind, they looked like miles of rugged chocolate mountains dusted with powdered sugar. Dark chocolate, at that. The mountains soon gave way to some flatlands, but not for long. Crossing over into Washington State and descending quite a bit I was given a glorious view of the Cascades. To me they looked even more spectacular than the Rockies, but that could have been because we were closer to them. Soon I saw water off to the right and realized that I was seeing the Puget Sound and all of the San Juan Islands at once...with the mountains of the Olympic Peninsula looming behind. Descending even more, civilization came into view and we flew right over downtown Seattle. So glad to not have been sleeping for all of that! What an amazing sight!

We landed in Seattle about a half an hour earlier than expected and had to wait another two and a half hours before we could check in with Southwest for our flight to Spokane. One last time through security and then another couple of hours till take off. By then I gave in to the need for caffeine. Starbucks is not my favorite, but out of sheer gratitude for being back on US soil and so close to home, it was a welcome sight. I found an outlet at our gate near the floor by some windows, so I settled onto the carpet and plugged in my dead phone. Leaning against a large column and enjoying the sunshine, I finally sent out text messages and made some phone calls to help pass the time. How good it was to hear familiar voices! The plane arrived a little late, but we were finally seated, belted, and ready for our last flight. More mountains, miles of patchwork farm land, then trees! Even from the air seeing the trees let us know that we were close to home! I could feel my anticipation building. "One last good landing, Lord." Tires on landing strip, despite the few bobs and weaves, was such a great feeling! I didn't know whether I would cry or do a happy dance when I saw my family. I did both.

We had a trip of a lifetime. Our relatives there are anxious for us to come again and to bring more of our family. We would love that, of course, but only the Lord knows if we'll ever make this trip again. So for now we have our memories, our photographs, new friends in far off family, and this mini-series of a travelogue. For those who "came with us," I hope you enjoyed the trip. For those who prayed for us, thank you so much! We were blessed at every turn and have returned home with full hearts, fully satisfied...and so grateful for God's provision, protection, and grace. 

Love to you all and dovidenja,

Bernadette

Croatia: To Zagreb, then home...Part 18

Just when I thought I would have a quiet evening last night and get to bed early...

Darko met us for coffee at the hotel at 9pm. He said he had somewhere he wanted to take me, but mom wasn't invited. Haha! He said she was too old. Oh dear! She did her little lip quiver thing that makes it look like she's going to cry...but in the end she went up to read and I went with Darko. He wanted to take me to a big celebration that was going on at the Tennis Club in Ogulin. He is the president of the Ogulin Sports Club, so being a part of these events is part of his job. There had been people there all day from Ogulin and other towns playing tennis all day - from ages 7 to 70. In the evening they had a big feast of roasted pig, salads, and fresh bread. What he especially wanted me to see was the small Croatian band that was playing traditional music. There were four men playing the bass, the guitar, a tamborica (a traditional Croatian instrument about the size of a mandolin), and a harmonica (accordian). It was great to hear their folk songs.

Now it is Sunday morning. We have siad our goodbyes to Mato, had our last cappuccino at the office, and are checking out. We will head for Zagreb today and home tomorrow. I hope you've enjoyed our adventures. At first it seemed surreal to be hear, now it's a bit surreal to be going home.

For the last time...Bok and love from Zagreb,

Bernadette

Croatia: Oh, and another thing...Part 17

As we drove out to Josepidol in Ivanka's little Chevrolet Spark, I thought of several miscellaneous things that I've yet to mention.

1. As you drive out of town where people have a bit more land, thus small farms, there are small stands - sometimes just a wheelbarrow - with huge 30-40 lb sacks of farm fresh potatoes, or equally large sacks of onions and peppers. Lately we have also begun to see pumpkins. Every little farm sets up these stands to sell their produce. I teased mom that we should take home some potatoes, but then we would have to leave the entire contents of our suitcases behind. Darn that 50 lb weight limit! The potatoes here are delicious. Ogulin is also known throughout the nation for having the best tasting cabbages...just ask anyone here. They will tell you! ;-)

2. Like all of Europe, Croatia is a photographers paradise. Not only are the countryside, mountains, and seaside exptremely picturesque, but the buildings old and new are fascinating. I especially love the old iron gates and fences and the abundance of weathered stucco everywhere. Most of the homes are left the natural soft beige color, but every now and then you'll see soft melon, pistaccchio, lime green...I even saw one daring home dressed in bright orange and yellow. Sometimes you just have to stand out in the crowd! And on every road of homes we pass in every town that we've visited are cascading window boxes of red geraniums. Sometimes an entire balconey is lined with them. I especially loved all the shuttered windows in Krk that were always wide open with a tumble of red flowers falling down the face of the buildings. It is pretty much "charming" overload. I never tire of seeing all the flowers as we drive or walk around.

3. And there are bikes! Bikes everywhere! Especially the old vintage style. So many people ride...young and old. One day I saw a lovely young woman riding toward us with a basket full of flowers attached to the front of the handle bars. She was wearing a dress, of course, and I immediately thought of Mandy Carlon. :) It is especially fun to watch the little old men ride around all day here in Ogulin. Ivanka's sister Seneca has one that is kelly green with double baskets on the rear wheel. So cute!

4. It has been very entertaining to see all the different automobiles here in Croatia. By far the majority are very small compact cars...at least 9 of 10. I have seen only three pickups here in Ogulin, and just a few SUV types. Gas is expensive here and most of the vehicles are deisel, which is cheaper. As I mentioned earlier, Ivanka drives a Chevrolet Spark. I did not know such a car exhisited. Darko drives a Skoda Fabia. I have seen numerous Renaults, BMWs, Fiats...as well as VWs, Hyundais, Fords, and Toyotas. The greatest majority have been European models, though. Tea has a bright yellow Peugot sub compact that has sliding doors like a mini van. It is a tiny car, but the doors are perfect for her husband Hrvoje who is permanently disabled from an automobile accident. (Considering that he was in a coma for weeks and had a great deal of spinal cord swelling, it is a miracle that he has perfect brain function, can speak flawlessly, and only deals with some permanent nerve damage to his right arm, hand, and leg. He is one of the most upbeat people I have ever met, though. Extremely kind and sensitive and not a bit self-conscious about his disablilities. He rides a bike everyday and works out to keep his body as strong as possible.)

I also have an update from our visit to St. Josephs. Father Peter had indeed located many of the records from my mothers grandparents and her aunts and uncles. He had typed out a chart showing names, birthdates, wedding dates, and death dates. He did not have these complete records for everyone, but it is much more information than we had before. He also made photocopies of the original church log entries for those family members. This is what she had been hoping for. Mission accomplished!

We also got to go see Marica before mass. She, of course, filled us with cakes and freshly picked grapes. I asked Ivanka to tell her what an honor it had been for me to meet her and how much I had enjoyed my time in Croatia. It was hard to hold back the tears knowing that even if I do get to return to this lovely place, she may not be here. I pray that I will get to come back, and that she will still be there leaning on her canes with her twinkling eyes and welcoming smile. My mother says that she is so much like my grandmother...It gives me "leaky eyes" just to think of that. I have come as close as I ever will to knowing my grandmother in the tiny little kitchen of precious Marica. As I hugged her goodbye it was hard to let go...

Alas, everything is making me cry today. That's ok. I have been gone from home for three weeks. I miss my family terribly and my heart is full of love and memories from this amazing journey to the land of my mother's family...my family.

Perhaps this is all I have to say about that...but you never know. It seems that I am always remembering something new that I've forgotten to write down. For now I will say good night...laku noć.

Bernadette

Croatia: Preparing to Leave...Part 16

Our time here is coming to a close and we are both ready to be home. We both seem to be experiencing a subtle weariness and quietness as we see the finish line approaching. For my mother, who was only able to spend 6 whirlwind days here with family last year, it has been a more satisfying time. We've had much more opportunity to spend with our family and to see the history, the sights, and the beauty of this country. To experience all this as more than tourists has been wonderful. I cannot adequately express how the continuing hospitality of our family here has touched our hearts. We have been taken to people's favorite places, shared their favorite meals, we've laughed together and found ways to communicate with our halting grasp of one another's language. Smiles and a kind tone of voice communicate much and we have tried to share those generously where ever we've been, as well as using basic hellos, thank you, please, good bye, and good morning (among other things) in Croatian as much as possible.

I have enjoyed my attempts at learning the language. Pronunciation is made simple once you learn some of the letters and combinations unique to Croatian, such as č=ch, š=sh, j=yuh...etc. The vowels are pronounced only one way, so once you've mastered the sounds everything can be read phonetically. The clusters of consonants can be a bit trickier until you've had a chance to practice a bit and can feel like trying to recite tongue twisters. All in all, I have loved the challenge and I hope that I will remember what I've learned in case I ever have the opportunity to come for another visit.

We met Darko, Ivanka, and her sister Seneca for coffee at the "office." We helped Ivanka and Seneca stack firewood last night while Darko cut the grass. This morning Seneca brought us each a little Ogulin refrigerator magnet. She is very sweet. Mom and I thought of taking a walk after coffee, but it was already too hot so we returned to the hotel and started reorganizing our suitcases. Ivanka will come for us tonight at 6pm so that we can go to Oštadje to say goodbye to Marica. She will then take us all to mass at St. Joseph's in Josepidol. This is where my grandmother was baptized and attended mass as a girl. It is very special to my mother to get to celebrate the mass there. The priest in Josepidol, Fr. Peter, contacted us through Darko yesterday saying that he had some good news for my mother. Hopefully this will be information regarding my great grandparents. We think they are buried in the cemetary there at St. Josephs. Any new information will be welcome and mom attempts to peice together her familiy tree.

Tea will come for us here sometime tomorrow and we will return with her to Zagreb. Marianna and Jurko will also be returning to Zagreb on Sunday and we will stay the night with them in their apartment. They live very near the airport, in fact Jurko works there as an electrician. Mirella will come to see us one last time on Monday morning since she does not work till noon. (Marianna and Jurko are her parents, just in case you're trying to keep track of everyone.) Our flight to Frankfurt is at 6pm (9am Spokane time). Unfortunately the flight to Seattle does not leave till the next morning, so we will be hanging out in the airport all night. At least we have a deck of cards and a crossword book. Perhaps I'll be able to find a book to read in English. I have already read the both of the novels that we brought over. One way or another, I hope that we will be able to sleep on the plane over the Atlantic this time. We would love your prayers for our flights and for our spirits. With layovers, our travels will last over a day and a half. We will be tired, but will need to be alert.

One last lunch here in Ogulin awaits us. We may take it at the hotel so that we can enjoy the kind waitresses here one last time. I doubt that they have guests stay for such an extended time and they have certainly been very good to us. Kristina, Nickolina, Ivana...Daniella at the reception desk, among others. Mom took some of their pictures today so that we will remember them too. We are hoping to take one last walk through the town later today or tomorrow morning when it is cooler. We have come to feel very at home here. Perhaps we will go get one more gelato cone...just for fun.

I hope to have one more update before we go, but just in case I don't I will say one more "doviđenja." The Lord has been good to us this trip...so many blessings. It has been a joy to be here and to be able to try and capture some of our experiences in words. Thank you to all those who have been praying. I know that I will be reflecting on this trip for some time to come...but for now, I look forward to coming home.

Much love from across the ocean,

Bernadette

Croatia: Park Benches and Fun Facts...Part 15

It is a gorgeous fall day here in Ogulin. The tempurature is just like home...in the 70s. After meeting Darko for coffee, Mom and I stopped in the lovely park here in the middle of town and spent some time chatting in the sun. There are park benches all throughout the park and the main street of Ogulin. You can grab a gelato or a pastry and easily find a bench nearby to enjoy the weather and chat with a friend. The nights are cooling nicely here and the days are beautiful. Fall is my favorite time of year. Here's a link to photos of the beautiful city park http://www.panoramio.com/photo/45558336  and some photos of Ogulin and the surrounding area. The small hotel that is next to a stone castle is Hotel Frankopan where we are staying.

http://www.photocroatia.com/GALLERY/list.php?exhibition=58

Underneath the city are a huge systems of caves. The mouth of one such cave can be seen at one of the lookout points to the large ravine across from our hotel. There is a bit of information about Ogulin on this site on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogulin

NOW FOR SOMETHING TRULY UNIQUE...

One fun fact that I had forgotten to share from our tour of Zagreb last week is the Museum of Broken Relationships. We passed by it at night, so did not get to go in. Apparently anyone can set up an exhibit from pictures or personal items of their ex (girl/boyfriend or spouse). I wish we could have gone in to see what this was all about. We could see some of the exhibits from the window. There was also a little caffee bar inside. I guess you could set up your exhibit, then go drown your sorrows all in the same place. (Caffe bars here also always serve beer...though you could drown your sorrows in caffeine just as well.) I found this link online. Check it out. http://new.brokenships.com/en

Off to lunch now and perhaps a drive out to Josipidol to talk to the priest at the church where my grandmother was batized. My mother has still not been able to locate her grandparents burial sites. It is possible that they may not be found, especially if there wasn't a large headstone marking them or if they were not cared for over the years. We are hoping to make contact with Father Peter there to see what the church records show. We've been trying to piece together family names as well as birth and death years. Not easy to do when there are only a few people who know that information...and they only speak Croatian. Also, many records are referenced with the original addresses and house numbers may have been changed over the years. We have also discovered that there are repetitions in some of the first names...so who she thought was an aunt, may turn out to be a cousin...or both because they had the same first and last name. This is especially true for the men. Putting this geneology together will likely require several more years of work, but Mom now has so much more information as well as many photos.

She regrets that her own mother, who is from this area, never spoke to her of the family in Croatia. Her mother had a stroke when she (my mother) was only 15 and was unable to speak after that. She died a few years later. So for over 50 years much of this family history was a complete mystery. Though some of the pieces may never come together, we now have contact with our relatives here and are greatly blessed to know them.

Doviđenja!

Bernadette

Croatia: On Wars and Waterfalls...Part 14

After a rather ordinary start to the day -  breakfast, cappucciiiino, a drive to Ostarije to see the parish priest about information regarding my great grandparents, and a return to Ogulin with a visit to Darko's "office," the wonderful outdoor caffee bar Stari Grad...where I had another cappucciiino. It is a bit amusing to me that we will have coffee, take a brief field trip, then go have another coffee. This is nothing that I would do at home, but the cappuccinos are the equivalent of $1.25, so "when in Rome" or Croatia...

We parted company after coffee just in time for a trip to the tourist office to look for some brochures written in English. Despite the two cappuccinos, it was nap time. (Last night's late night capp had kept me awake till the wee hours.) We shared an order of "pancakes with zucchini" for lunch and took care of some emails. So far, pretty routine.

It was our afternoon outing that turned the tide. Darko and Ivanka met us at the hotel at 3pm and we set out for Rastoke, in the city of Slunj. Wikipedia describes this area: "Rastoke[ˈrastɔkɛ] is the historic center of the Croatian municipality of Slunj. This old part of Slunj is known for its well-preserved mills and the picturesque little waterfalls along the Slunjčica river, which flows into the river Korana at this place. The Korana river originates at Plitvice Lakes National Park." It is quite picturesqe indeed. Plitvice is apparently 10 times bigger, but would have required an entire day and a 5 mile hike. The falls at Rostoke are terraced and some run right under some of the houses, which are built up on stone pylons. There were once very many mills built in this area, taking advantage of the water flow. We did get to see one such working mill. It dated back to the 1700s, and though under repair, was still in use. Darko bought some fresh ground corn meal and flour from the friendly older woman who lived there. Like the Spokane, the Korana river runs very high in the spring. It would be spectacular to visit Rastoke that time of year.

We hiked up a road, then down closer to the river. There are several caffees and a restaurant at the bottom. It is all very rustic with old houses, lots of flower gardens, and a small area near the restaurant where you could literally catch a trout and have it prepared for dinner. We did not do this, but saw many fish and a very odd looking black and white speckled duck.

As great as all this was, the ride out was also memorable. To get to Slunj one must travel a VERY winding road. Other than the larger "autobahns" all the smaller highways and access roads are quite narrow, add continual S curves and hairpin turns along with Darko's speedy driving and, let's just say it was an adventure. I did fine, I think Mom was a bit unsettled. (He very graciously agreed to drive slower on the way back.) The countryside that we traveled through was so beautiful, rolling hills, small farms, trees and brush. Everything here is still very green.

It was about halfway through our ride that Darko said something about the area we were traveling toward. I caught the word "mine" but was not at first sure what he was talking about. Finally he said "bomb" and I realised that he was pointing out to us areas that were marked by warning signs because they were still filled with land mines put there by the Serbian Army during the Bosnian war in the 90s. He explained that from that area, the Serbs had bombed Ogulin. When they entered Croatia, they burned out and destroyed thousands of homes and churches. As we continued to drive through this otherwise lovely rural area we saw many partially or completely destroyed homes and buildings. In some cases, newer homes had been built next to or very near the old bombed out ones. There were a couple of marked memorials to fallen soldiers along our drive as well. It made "that war" that I'd only paid a bit of attention to as I raised my, then, small children seem much more real...and very tragic. Ogulin and other areas were bombed many times and, as I mentioned in a previous note, many people sent their children to live elsewhere during the fighting. Darko served in the army during this war, as well. He talked with pride of his country's heritage of brave soldiers who throughout the centuries had fought to defend themselves against the Romans, the Turks, Napoleon, and others. The castle that stands right next to our hotel was built by a very the very powerful Frankopan family as a garrison of defence after the Turks invaded centuries ago. Like the town, the castle is over 500 years old. Seeing history up close and personal has been a highlight of this trip.

Fall seems to finally have arrived here in Ogulin. I noticed on some of my friend's Facebook posts the weather seems to have turned in Spokane as well. We have noticed through conversation with the locals, that the weather and seasons here are much the same as the Spokane area. As I was looking up how to spell the name of the village we visited today, I noticed that it was described as been along the 45th latitude line. The Canadian border is about 49 degrees north, so we are situated very similarly. I had been wondering about this and now it is confirmed.

So now that you've recieved this travelogue with the bonus history and geography lesson, I'll sign off. I hope to get a good night's sleep tonight so that I'll be ready to meet Darko at the "office" tomorrow morning...for a cappucciiiino! Laku noc! (good night!)

Bok!

Bernadette