I’ve spent a lot of time with
my kids the last few days. Not bro and the two sistas or the fabulous
kids-in-law, they’ve all left town, remember? No, I’ve been spending time with
all the journals, poems, and silly pieces that I began writing three years ago. Reliving memories: the good, the bad, and the ridiculous. Thanks to several events and conversations that began to continually poke at my “put it
off till it’s perfect” mindset, I began my secret project…the blog.
“But you already have a blog,”
you say. Tis true. But that is my silly blog, or on a good day it might ascend
to witty, even funny. And so I pray for
good days.
When it came to my attention
recently that I’d had a blog account open…and empty…for an entire year I did
one of those inner “roll your eyes” things, called myself a dork and a chicken,
and began to square my shoulders toward the challenge. And one night, in a fit
of insomnia, the idea of starting a silly blog came to mind, a place for puns
and randomness and that much sought after dash of wit. So before I had too much
time to talk myself out of it, I dove in and spent an entire day or two
creating “Cross your eyes and dot your teas.” But the goal still cowering in
the corner was the “real” blog.
The real blog is the
revealing blog, the one where you put yourself out there and risk the slings
and arrows of outrageous comments. It’s the place where you lay your life out
in the open, venture to share a passionate opinion, or again, on a good day, pour out a little grace
and encouragement. You take this blog seriously and in return hope to be taken
seriously.
“But when are you ever
serious?” you say. Tis also true. I spend a
lot of time in silly land. As far back as childhood I learned that laughter is
good medicine. Life is full of serious, but for me silly is genetic. I just
can’t shake it…no matter how hard I dance. (But that’s another story) As far
back as childhood I’ve also been introspective and prone to
delving into big thoughts. What a relief to finally be big and more able to go
toe to toe with them. Or at least brave enough to try.
Big thoughts, often brought
on by big storms or even hiding in the midst of little happenings, are primarily
what move me. Since childhood I’ve been pondering a big God, getting out
of bed at night several times to ask my mom, “Who made God?” “He was, is, and
always will be, child. Now go back to bed.” Then I would lay there trying to
get my mind to venture to a place called “always was.” Sometimes it’s seemed a
curse, that compelling to think so hard. But I’ve come to know that it is what
my big God ordained for me before I was born. Even in me, it always
was.
So my kids are being spun out
into the blogosphere. Not as big and wondrous a place as the universe, but still
a place of mystery, to me at least. I know that they’ll be safe. Safe
enough. God is my refuge and strength, not what others think of me. I
say that with much certainty today, but it’s been a hard fought piece of
ground. It’s good to be standing here, in Him, as I send my thoughts out into
the unknown. And I can no longer escape the compelling to write any more than
I’ve been able to escape the need to think, and mull, and pray, and diagram
things in my head…most often while I should be sleeping.
“On life and laughter and
everything in between. My life. My faith walk. My goodness…life is
breathtaking!” It’s a working title and a place to start.
Though my mom insists that I was known to just sit and laugh all by myself as a child, and on my husband's authority I still do sometimes...life and laughter are best enjoyed with
friends, so feel free to stop by often.
