On Brokenness

I was so moved by Ann Voskamps blog today...and thought again of her book, One Thousand Gifts, and how it had touched deep places of difficulty, hurt and healing in my life. She is a beautiful woman who willingly shares her journey, wearing her pain on her sleeve...even the pain of her own sinful heart...for the sake of encouraging others to thankfulness, wholeness and healing. One who has been shaped into a grace-giving vessel by that very pain and brokenness.

And it came to me.

That is the tenderizing...the pounding is the tenderizing. 

Have you ever weighed down against a cut of steak or a plump chicken breast with a meat mallet and a knowing-heart?

It's loud! And sometimes brings the kids running...

"What are you doing??"

"This meat is tough...and by pounding on it just enough it will become tender, instead of hard and chewy. Don't worry. I'm making it better," you might say to them.

And have you ever pounded so much that you ripped a hole? I have. Some chicken breasts are thick and and tough, some only look tough, but are fragile. How could I know?

Yet in our Father's care we are safe in the smashing and crushing of life and disappointment and grief. Of hurt and wounds and things gone terribly wrong.

Does he desire to hurt us? No.

But He does allow the pain...is with us in the pain...never lets the hand come down too hard.
He knit us together. He knows what we need...and the unfathomable ways that those needs will be truly met...with a re-shaping of vision, a newness of purpose far above what we'd asked or imagined, and a deeper joy realized.

And just when we think the weight and force of it will rip and tear and gouge, we look down...days, months, years later...and see that instead of holes, we have been made holy.

We have been broken to be built back up aright. 

We have been broken so that we might gaze upon 

brokenness with tender hearts. 

We have been broken so that we can be as bread to others. 

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.

As the heavens are higher than the earth,so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8,9

And we know that in all things 
God works for the good of those who love him, 
who have been called according to his purpose. 
For those God foreknew he also predestined 
to be conformed to the image of his Son
Romans 8:28,29